“You’re worried about what ifs. Well, what if you stopped worrying?”

Shannon Celebi – Driving off Bridges

Although we’re only just into a new year and spring is fast approaching, there may still be areas of your life (perhaps even many) – at work or at home – that are causing you stress right now.

The first thing to do is to face this list calmly, it’s not uncommon to feel weighed down by all these different things which require attention and as you read this, you are taking the first steps to reduce the feeling of stress and overwhelm. Instead of trying to deal with them all at once, first think about what needs the most attention right now. Choose one or two areas to explore. Here are some examples:

• Exercise – not enough or too much
• Taking non-prescription drugs
• Inner calmness or the lack of it
• Lack of fun
• Eating habits
• The pace of your life – too fast or too slow
• Remaining properly hydrated
• Smoking or vaping
• Making a career move
• A life change such as moving home, birth, wedding, chronic illness, new partner
• Alcohol intake
• Social media usage or screen time
• How full your life is – are you busy doing the wrong things

If there are other areas of your life that you know need work, pick one or two of those. What do you feel needs some urgent attention and what can wait? Start with the most urgent – those areas that would reduce your feelings of stress the most if they were dealt with.

Image credit: Jaakko Kemppainen via Unsplash

Look for Long-Term Strategies

Once you’ve decided what to work on, look for help that’s already available to you.

Find out what support there is for you where you work or through professional bodies you may be connected with, for example, your Union. There may be formal well-being schemes, counselling, coaching, at-seat massage, stress awareness or resilience courses, relaxation rooms or other initiatives. Can you work more flexibly, reduce your workload or hours, share tasks, delegate or automate?

What can you find locally? Look at noticeboards or websites. Your library, community centre, leisure centre or gym, doctor’s surgery, health food store or local newsagent’s window can help. Where is your nearest green space or park, trim track, hypnotherapist, swimming pool, yoga or dance class or reflexologist?

Make use of technology. There are many good apps that can help you practice breathing or mindfulness. Apps can monitor and record your exercise levels and frequency, happiness scores and stress symptoms. You can stream or download relaxation and visualisation audio tracks. Wearable tech can give you real-time information on your physiology.

Notice, ask about and explore how people around you (family, friends, colleagues) cope with, manage or overcome stress and pressure. Ask how they keep going, deal with setbacks or manage overwhelm. Be curious to discover their strategies.

The final step is to be assertive with yourself to make sure that you go and do it, whatever ‘it’ is. Then use the positive nurturing part of yourself to reward yourself for doing it, and keep on doing it, if you enjoy it. And be kind to yourself when you have a day when nothing goes well. Tomorrow you can start again.

Positive Practice – Short-Term Strategies

So, you’ve got some long-term strategies for finding more energy and reducing stress and anxiety levels. But what about right now? How do you deal with everyday nerves?

In day-to-day activities, you may experience sudden attacks of nerves which can grow into panic or anxiety. Nerves are normal and you can overcome their effects, or at least minimise them. For example, if you find yourself getting nervous before an interview or a presentation, or another day-to-day home or work situation, try some of these strategies.

They have cumulative effects. Doing them regularly is like putting money in your ‘calmness bank’, which you can then draw on in times of need.

The keys to handling your daily nerves are:

• Breathing – try sitting still for two minutes and focus on taking longer, deeper breaths. Practice slowing your breathing any time you feel your anxiety levels rise.
• Releasing tension – when we feel nervous, we often carry tension in our muscles. Take a couple of minutes to scan your whole body and ask any areas that feel tight to ‘release’.
• Stress situations can result in adrenalin release. To help overcome this take a few moments to sit quietly and clench as many muscles as possible at the same time; feet, legs, hands, abdomen, buttocks, shoulders. Keep clenched for 10 seconds then release and repeat. Keep your good-quality breathing going throughout.
• Preparation and planning – planning substitutes thinking for worrying! Having a plan and being prepared allows you to contain any worry and to feel more in control. Think of an event in the future about which you’re a bit nervous. Write down some “What if” statements about the event. “What if X happens?” Then write down every idea you can come up with to deal with it, from the most reasonable to the downright crazy! “What if …? I will …” Some of your solutions might make you laugh so much, that you forget to worry! And laughter is always a great way to raise your energy!

The next time you feel yourself getting stressed or anxious, or you start worrying about something, try any or all of these four exercises. Slow your breathing, clench then relax your tight muscles and have some fun planning a way forward.

A worry shared is a worry much less worth worrying about, so remember to look for help. Talk to trusted friends, colleagues or family members. You’ll probably find that you’re not alone in your worries. You can also get professional help from your GP or talking therapists. If you don’t have anyone to talk to, or you’d like a confidential ear, please do get in touch to arrange some coaching. Call me on +44 07977 072 760 or click here to email me and we can arrange a coaching call.