If we are connected to those people we can reach them. And we can reach them every minute of every day.  That means that we can send out positive vibes to them when they need support and they can also reach us.  So when we need support we can ask for it and allow ourselves to receive it.

My friend James works in Canada and was going through a particularly tough time a couple of years ago so I sent him positive vibes across the waves.  It really helps to know that your support network are thinking of you when you have a tough day or difficult assignment ahead of you.  Today I’m sending positive energy across to a friend working in Reading where he’s facilitating a tough business development workshop.

Send positivity.  Ask for support.  Receive that positive energy.

Send autumn crocuses to make someone smile!

The post Purple tingly stuff first appeared on develomenta.

1. It’s perfectly normal for most of us to talk to ourselves the whole time
2. Since these messages are playing in your head, no-one else can hear them or know they are happening
3. Since they are playing in YOUR head, you can take control and do something about them.

Here’s how to do it.

Stage 1: Spend a day or so simply noticing and observing what actually goes on in your head. You’ll probably be surprised because:

1. the chatter may have been inaudible to you until you took the time to notice it; you may have just thought it was the wind in your hair
2. there may be so much going on in your head that at times it sounds like a massive conversation or tirade of messages; yet it only lasts seconds
3. some of the messages may be self-destructive and others may be supportive or more positive
4. there may be a range of different ‘voices’ in different circumstances
5. you may ‘hear’ nothing at all. You might simply get a sense of there being an inclination or push towards a particular direction or thought.

Stage 2: Make some notes about your noticing and observing experience.

• What were the messages?
• Whose ‘voice’ were they – yours or someone else’s?
• How much did you take notice of the messages?
• What did you notice about how you were affected by the messages?
• What was the balance between messages that helped and supported you and those that weren’t supportive or helpful?
• Were there some ‘voices’ that were more helpful and others that were not?

 Stage 3: Now pick several of the least helpful or supportive messages, perhaps the ones that sapped your confidence or turned you away from what could have been a better attitude or an important step forward.

Step 4: What happens for many of us is that we have a repeating pattern of unhelpful messages and we can get stuck in a loop. Now it’s time to change the record.

For each of these unhelpful messages try any of these approaches:

• How could you simply change the message to be more helpful or supportive?
• Imagine the message coming from someone you could not take seriously – a cartoon character, a comedian, your daft friend, your pet
• Imagine how your best friend, Mum, coach or hero would respond if you actually said this message out loud to them
• Imagine how that message might sound if it was speeded up, or really, really slowed down so it was unintelligible
• Imagine how it might sound if it was repeated over and over again until it simply became a string of meaningless sounds or tones
• Counter your message by asking yourself the “Yes, but …” question. For example: –It’s not worth applying since I’ll never get an interview. “Yes, but what if I do get an interview? Yes, but what if no-one else applies? Yes, but I already did this job for the last year?!
• When messages seem to be warning you of danger, try countering with “What’s the worst that could happen?”
• Let the messages play – let them simply pass like clouds – and decide which helpful ones you will pluck from the sky, pay attention to and use
• Get a sense of the messages that come from your best self and allow more of those through
• Block or shield yourself from unhelpful messages with mindfulness, music, movement, being in nature or focusing on others
• Make friends with the cheeky, teasing, disruptive messages and put them away in a cupboard, even if they still rattle the door!
• Write out the unhelpful messages and have a ceremony to destroy them – shred them, burn them or throw them into the bin!

Experiment with these and notice which ones work for you in which situations. Come up with other approaches, if you’d like to and play with them. Take control, listen and take heed of the messages that help; choose not to be affected by others.

By gradually working on your internal messaging over time you’ll find shifts in your attitude towards being more open, responsible, flexible and positive and others around you will notice this too.

Oprah Winfrey said that you can change your future just by changing your attitude. If you’d like some help with developing better messaging, to create a more positive future for yourself, let’s talk. Oprah isn’t available, so call me on 0797 707 2760 or email me at sue.hewitt@develomenta.co.uk!

The post Change the record first appeared on develomenta.

Frankie is a bright spark. She used to work with the police on fraud cases. She left. She’s now working through an agency. She had a job where she was so good that she’d done all of her allocated work, had tried to get more, was waiting on other people processing stuff, played a computer game whilst waiting and got sacked for it. Her manager fought for her as she was so much better than anyone else. No use; she still got sacked.

Then the agency offered her something else in a call centre at £6 per hour. She thought she’d just go along, after all, it was work. The agency suggested that even though it was a lowly post, she should turn up suited and booted.

Frankie went to the interview. The company was building a new call centre. They took her on as a team leader, paying her much more than £6, with the promise of quickly moving her into a management role.

Frankie’s success is all down to her attitude. If we don’t give it a go, just find out what it’s all about, give things a chance, take a risk and take the time to find out, then we may never find those opportunities that are all out there waiting for us. Frankie also showed, by her attitude, that she could do a management job, turning up professionally dressed and projecting that professional image. The attitude of being open to seeing what’s out there will always pay rewards. Having a positive attitude transmits to those around you.

What will you find out about today? What will you give a second thought to that you might have dismissed? How will your attitude help you today?

The post Attitude, attitude, attitude first appeared on develomenta.