I meet some people who won’t engage with any of this “personal development stuff”. They say that they don’t want to change into someone they don’t recognise, change themselves into someone different. Life washes over all of us, whether we take control of it or not. Although we’d like it to be calm, with occasional ripples maybe, it is often stormy, with giant waves washing over us. Whatever happens to you the essence of you remains, maybe a bit more rounded or shining brightly with the dampness of the wave-wash.

So what’s holding you back from walking towards the waves today? Next time the waves crash over you what resources do you have to pick you up again? Where will the lifeboat come from when the tide rushes in?

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Getting a note from a friend calling himself “right tardy” for taking so long to reply to me. As I read it I could hear him saying it and it made me smile.

Getting a text from a friend calling me “romantic” – with a small “r”, after I’d likened myself to the Scarlet Pimpernel.  As I’m away so much its hard to pin me down.  Being called “romantic” with a small “r” made me smile.

Talking last night to a coaching client.  She now realises that she WILL have a fabulous life and SHE will make that happen.  She says I’ve created a monster.  That made me smile but its her who has changed her life not me.

Having a bacon sandwich for breakfast today.  Its something different from my usual breakfast and makes today special.

Getting brilliant feedback from a client on an evaluation report I’d written for her.  I could hear the smile on her face as I was listening.  Hearing her smile made me smile.

What things made you smile this week?  What was it about that event that provoked the smile?  Does remembering it now make you smile again?  What can you do to bring more of those events into your life so there are more smiles every day?  Have a really smiley week!!

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It’s true that “you never have a second chance to make a first impression”.  And given what I do it is essential that I embody everything about that in my “pitch”.

In this case, going against all normal advice, I didn’t prepare anything. It was important to show that my offering was directly relevant to the way the client works and their needs.  Therefore I planned to listen to their briefing on the day and respond directly to that.  I am completely used to adapting material to the immediate needs of participants. So I was therefore able to stand up and respond appropriately to what I  had learned during their briefing.

When do you have to make a first impression?  Or when do you have only a very limited time to make an impression?  What will you do to make that count? What is the best way for you to make it a fabulous first impression?  Do you need to prepare?  What do you need to prepare? How will you do that?

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And it reminded me that we should celebrate (and share) what we achieve so I poured a glass of merlot, grabbed a bowl of olives and listened to some radio comedy podcasts as a celebration of  this week’s achievements:

• completing and submitting a complex tender
• having a successful meeting
• getting in front of a new global client
• getting some fantastic feedback on my coaching
• getting paid earlier than anticipated
• finally getting my laptop collected for repair

And I thought that this week had been a bit flat!!

And it reminded me that I need to write more non-work stuff.  Writing tenders is one sort of challenge and poetry/prose is different.

 What do you have to celebrate this week?  How will you do that?

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Although I have to admit that it was a lot more peaceful when they moved to the next carriage, I admire them for their attitude.  In the face of disapproval they were just being themselves, not modulating their behaviour, moulding it into what everyone else expected from a group of women probably aged from 30 to their late 40s.  It was very refreshing to see.  Yes I sympathise with the passengers who wanted a quiet journey, but hey, it was Friday afternoon – its OK to have some fun sometimes.

And how different would people’s reactions have been if it had been a group of men?  When I eventually got off the train I walked down the platform to find their carriage and held up a written note to the window that read “Have a great time!  Enjoy!”.  Go girls!

When did you last let your hair down, abandon all inhibitions and let go?  What would happen if you did?

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I thought how refreshing it was to hear someone express that sort of pride.  I’ve very rarely heard anyone say that about Britain.  Somehow its become unfashionable to express pride, and not just pride in your country either.  How unusual is it for us to express pride in anything – our work, our children, our successes, our home or garden or creative projects, our friends or the support that they give us.

So just for a minute think of what you’re proud of.  I’m proud of what I’ve achieved with my work – bringing opportunities for development to so many women.  I’m also proud of my course participants for the many amazing things that they go on to achieve.  I’m proud of all my climbing and skiing friends who keep in touch when often I can’t get out and join them because of work pressures. Ad I’m proud of my independence.

What are you proud of?  What does that tell you about yourself?  Who will you tell about that pride tomorrow?

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Its really refreshing to get back to those pure feelings of excitement, wonder and sheer joy that we had when we were young. As adults we are often far too grown up. It’s not seemly to whoop with joy and leap about excitedly, to rush outside into the wind without a coat, to laugh and giggle sometimes for no reason. We spend too much time being responsible, sensible, organised and sometimes just plain boring.

So I say, in the face of life’s challenges, its time to rediscover the things that give you a child-like delight and simply enjoy the moments when you are doing them. Life is far too short to be sensible all the time. Loose a whole load of years for half an hour.

What made you squeal with joy when you were 7 and 8? What things caused you to lose track of time? What situations filled you with wonder? What excited you as a child? How can you do more of all of those?

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Is there stuff you care about? Or do you just fade into the background, just another grey person with nothing to distinguish you from anyone else.

I’ve found that people can be too politically correct, not want to put their hand up and be counted, actually speak out about what’s important to them. It doesn’t matter what you care about really, just that there is something that gets you excited or fuels your passion. Whatever it is, it gives you zing, brings you to life. It will drive you to action and colour . It will set you apart from people around you. And when the chips are down it can give you something to live for, a reason to keep going.

What you really care about makes you who you are to some extent. If you don’t really care very much about anything then who are you, really?

What do you care about? How does that affect your life? How do you share that with others? How are you affected by what those close to you care about?

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Once she arrived and got to know everyone she realised that they were all normal people. They were good at their jobs and juggling busy lives, just like she was. She felt really relieved but then had a light bulb moment. If she was sitting in the room with all these supposed “superwomen” then maybe she was a superwoman too!

She asked some of the other women and they said that they really admired everything that she had achieved and the way that she had a great relationship with her staff and actually got huge amounts done. At the end of the day she went home feeling fantastic as she’d become a superwoman simply by being herself and associating with other successful people.

Anyone can be a super-person. You may be a superwoman or superman in someone else’s eyes, yet not realise it. You won’t know until you ask.

And if you were a super-person what would you change? Now go and start work on that – you know you have the powers!

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I was stunned, as that attitude had never occurred to me. I’m really pleased to be able to help out colleagues. I’m happy to have work as I have the time available. I’m interested to meet some different clients and people from different organisations. There is not a bone in my body that feels put upon, short changed or unhappy delivering these programmes.

This showed me that my attitude was more positive than other people’s might have been. That was a surprise to me because I sometimes potter around in my own little world without really checking what is going on outside. So when you are suddenly brought up against the world outside it can be a surprise. And you don’t actually know about that unless you ask or you get some sort of feedback like that.

What’s your attitude and how does that compare to what people are expecting of you? What will you do with the feedback that you have? Is your attitude helpful in your current situation? If not, what would be a more helpful attitude?

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